I know I'm going to sound so contradictary

I have been trying to explain the way I feel about the environment/life/I-don't-have-the-word-for-it to my friends at work. It's been so hard to explain because I feel like a total hypocrite. I love the city. I love nature. I want to live in the city, but I want to be surrounded by nature, too. I want to be the type of person who has a compost pile, ten recycling bins, uses cloth bags at the local farmer's market, has a huge vegetable garden in her backyard, drives a hybrid, eats nothing but organic vegan meals everyday, dresses comfortably, is a minimalist, and weighs 96 lbs. However, my mecca is NYC, I have a big screen TV, a huge house (for me it's huge), a dead backyard, nothing but grass in the front yard, I weigh... enough, I'm a meativore, I wear lia sophia and use Pampered Chef, watch modern, non-earthy television shows and dream I'm Carrie Bradshaw, I throw away aluminum cans, drive a Honda (although it is a ULEV vehicle), and have a bag of Cheese-its in my pantry. At work, my friend said, "I'm a tree hugger!" I said right after that, "I'm a skyscraper hugger!" I feel like such a freaking wannabe.