My little sister, Olivia, introduced me to this artist, I believe. He is amazing. His work just gets better and better. I've been listening to his stuff this afternoon in attempt to get motivated to buy tickets to see him at In The Venue, Salt Lake's most disgusting music venue. I want to see him so, so, so badly, but the memories of the last time I was there are just overwhelmingly convincing me to not buy a ticket. Anyway, this song is off of his CD Three Flights From Alto Nido. It's called Farewell. I just love this. Melodies are beautiful, and the banjo adds just that much more.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Vulnerability
Over the past few days I have cried to several strangers about the things going on in my brain. I have made a decision that, while it will affect my grades and academic standing at UVU, will benefit me in the long run. I am beyond exhausted. I have been going to school for 3 years trying to satisfy UVU and their requirements for their nursing program, and the end is nowhere near in sight, especially knowing that I will have to repeat the classes I'm currently taking. They are over my head, even with studying for several hours a day, and both professors teach in a way that is not cohesive with my learning style. I have attended study groups, have made flash cards, poured over the reading material, and I still am struggling with rote memorization of what it is I'm supposed to know. I need to be taught, not told. I have shed many, many tears over school this semester. I definitely bit off more than I could chew, and I am admitting it. I have never felt so defeated in my life. Never, ever, ever.
Rod's been saying the same phrase to me for about a week now.
"There's more than one road to San Diego, Sarah."
I've been on this current road for 3 years and it's not getting me anywhere. I'm now taking the steps to get to my destination from another angle, and I feel it's the right thing to do.
Rod's been saying the same phrase to me for about a week now.
"There's more than one road to San Diego, Sarah."
I've been on this current road for 3 years and it's not getting me anywhere. I'm now taking the steps to get to my destination from another angle, and I feel it's the right thing to do.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
This is it, I think.
I've been fighting pneumonia since last week. I've been on antibiotics since Sunday. I'm still struggling with my health. I talked to my OChem prof on Monday and he said that he'd keep the test in the testing center one more day for me so I can worry about getting better first. I called him today and asked if he would really do that.
I cannot function. I had a class yesterday that I absolutely had to go to, and as soon as I got home I crashed for 3 hours. I was dead to the world. I've been trying to study for this OChem test I have but I cannot do it. Things that made sense to me last week are flying over my head at a rate so fast that it's totally and completely foreign to me. I've been in tears since my mom went out the door to run errands. (I cannot let her see me cry for several reasons, but the main one is that she's so quick to give up on me and tell me that I just can't handle school and work family and should just quit school.) I don't even remember if I mentioned this before, so I apologize if I'm being a broken record. I printed off the class requirements for the BS English major last week. Looking at those classes, they are more my type. But I cannot let the fact that they seem so much fun and easy (yes, Contemporary Critical Approaches to Literature seems fun and easy) get to me. My problem is this - once I finish this semester, I'm still faced with more-than-likely retaking OChem (since everyone I've talked to in that class is on their second go at it.), Pathophysiology, Anatomy, Physiology, College Algebra 1050 (yes, again), and Statistics BEFORE I can start applying for the program at the U of U. That process alone could take years. I could be done with my English degree in two years. So do I want to keep eating minuscule bites out of the Nursing elephant and pray that I'm finished when Rachel starts college, or do I take a solid bite out of the reality portion of my college education I'm looking at on the other side of the buffet and finish in time to enjoy my life?
I cannot function. I had a class yesterday that I absolutely had to go to, and as soon as I got home I crashed for 3 hours. I was dead to the world. I've been trying to study for this OChem test I have but I cannot do it. Things that made sense to me last week are flying over my head at a rate so fast that it's totally and completely foreign to me. I've been in tears since my mom went out the door to run errands. (I cannot let her see me cry for several reasons, but the main one is that she's so quick to give up on me and tell me that I just can't handle school and work family and should just quit school.) I don't even remember if I mentioned this before, so I apologize if I'm being a broken record. I printed off the class requirements for the BS English major last week. Looking at those classes, they are more my type. But I cannot let the fact that they seem so much fun and easy (yes, Contemporary Critical Approaches to Literature seems fun and easy) get to me. My problem is this - once I finish this semester, I'm still faced with more-than-likely retaking OChem (since everyone I've talked to in that class is on their second go at it.), Pathophysiology, Anatomy, Physiology, College Algebra 1050 (yes, again), and Statistics BEFORE I can start applying for the program at the U of U. That process alone could take years. I could be done with my English degree in two years. So do I want to keep eating minuscule bites out of the Nursing elephant and pray that I'm finished when Rachel starts college, or do I take a solid bite out of the reality portion of my college education I'm looking at on the other side of the buffet and finish in time to enjoy my life?
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